Just Say No

So I go to Walmart to get one thing and as is always the case and I came out with five. Creature of habit that I am I park in the same area and come in the same entrance. At this entrance they have produce on one side of the aisle and exercise apparel on the other. Those merchandisers are no dummies however, I AM because on EVERY trip I peruse the apparel. I mean you can’t be $15 for tights right?

On this most recent excursion I spot a purple jacket and tank, which are must haves, because PURPLE.  I  looked for some track pants but there were none to my liking. For some reason I looked down one of the racks and saw what I like to call “yoga booty shorts”. Thinking since I’m old and hot, ie. prone to a flash or five I’ll try them. They had my size so in the basket they went.

Woke up the next morning for some yoga and decided to give the booty shorts a test run. They were light and and fit nice or so I thought…

Downdog #1 I felt them creeping
Forward fold #2 I felt them twisting
Pyramid #3 I felt them bunching.

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By Svanasana time half my azz was out. I had to snatch that out wedgie before I could relax.

Now I’m not about to say I’m going to say no to the fitness apparel at the Mart. However I will say a hellnawl to those yoga booty shorts in the future…

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Unless they are money back guaranteed to not ride up in to the nether regions of my fanny.

What about you? Have you ever had a wardrobe malfunction with your fitness gear? Do tell in the comments and in all the usual places.

Until next time, see you on the mat where my hind parts will be fully covered.

Also: for more yoga follies check ye olde broad out on Instagram.
Photos: MsThorns
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Powered By Soul Flips for FlipBelt

There had to be a solution to lugging keys and phones on the trail and at the gym.  I mean I’m pulling enough (my body) around as is and being weighted down with unattractive contraptions to hold stuff on my body was on my LAST.  Leave it to my running girlfriends to show me how to get it done.  Goodbye hideous fanny pack and helloooo FlipBelt.

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You can see and hear what I think about it below. Yep, there’s video. The first and maybe the last but check it out anyway and I’m NOT getting paid to talk about it. If I were dontcha think the video would be better?  Enjoy and if you get one, let me know how it worked out for you in the comments.

Photos/Video: MsThorns

Geared Up

Back in the go-go 80s my primary fitness activities were running, the foolishness formerly known as high impact aerobics and lifting barbie weights. As an employee of a chain retailer of fitness shoes and apparel I had ALL the gear including those running (booty) shorts. Decades and pounds later I’ve reached the stage of no damns given and am doing my best to GET TO the gym let alone be cute. So, I wondered with the recent attempt at war on yoga pants if I really should care and for that matter do those who are wearing yoga pants or anything else care. Well I did a little survey which you can see in its entirety here and the highlights below.

What are your primary fitness activities?
The participants are doing ALL THE THINGS fitness-wise.

Describe the apparel, footwear, sleeves etc used for your fitness activities.
“My apparel consists of running leggings. Most are black, but I’m working my way to wearing more colored leggings.  For some reason I think I can’t, so I’m stepping out my box and purchasing pants/leggings with more color.”

Does this apparel have an effect on performance? In what way(s)?
“I don’t like for my clothes to chafe, make me hot, or restrict my arms and legs in any way, so I would say they positively affect my performance by not being a distraction.” Amen!

How important is the appearance of your apparel?
“Somewhat important” to “very important” outnumbers could care less 4-3.

Does brand effect your choice of apparel? If yes, what brands do you prefer.
“Yes, I wear CW-X compression crop/long pants different race because they provide the compression that I need to hold all my butt and thighs.” Not just some of them but ALL of them.

Does price effect your choice of apparel?
Only one respondent answered no to this question. As such I’m going to very unscientifically assume that the respondents aren’t going to spend a lot of money on fitness apparel.

Conclusions (again unscientific): participants are doing everything, wearing everything EXCEPT Reeboks (gotcha big guy) and are doing so at a reasonable cost.

Powered by Soul would like to thank Antoinette, Sonya, Ant, OTJ, Michelle S., Kym, Marla and Teresa for participating in the survey. Here’s a medley of some of their greatest hits.

Geared UP

Photos courtesy of (clockwise from left) Antoinette Lewis by MsThorns, Sonya Strider, Ant Pruitt, OTJ, MsThorns, Michelle Soloman and center, Kym McNair